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MatchMadeInNaija admin

A lot of people have different ideas on relationships that are based on assumptions of perfection in a relationship. This is very far from the true state of most of relationships and eventually creates a problem.

Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions people have related about having a better relationship.

1.  I have to love everything about my partner:


You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.

Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.

2.  Love means that I can fix my partner:


You met your partner because of some special quality or characteristics that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.

You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.

3.I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship:


Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.

Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.

When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.

4. I will find a partner that will be at my beck and call:


You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill and is no longer able to take care of you?

Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Sometimes you would be the bedrock of the relationship and other times your partner is going to be the mainstay and that’s okay.

You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.

5. It cost a lot to be in a relationship:


In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house or an exotic car. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.

Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going to the beach, or buying Shawarma or popcorn.

Love is not about creating mammoth experiences that cost a fortune. It is about creating small loving moments that last a lifetime.

6. My partner is supposed to believe that I love him/her:


It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.

If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.

7. I don't have to work at my relationship:


When you were a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.

To become a better partner, you have to learn to keep improving yourself especially in the aspect of communication. It is very important to speak openly about the issues in your relationship and always try to resolve them

Ojay Tress



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