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Ladies, guys are not that hard to read. They only pretend to be mysterious when they are having second thoughts about dating you. Here are the signs that would show you that he is interested in having a relationship with you. This article does not in any way tell you that your relationship will be successful but it will just focus on how to know if you should take the step in the first place.

1.       He tells you:

This one is pretty straight forward and is what most ladies want to happen. If he is bold enough to tell you that he wants to have a relationship with you or simply that he is interested in taking you out, you have something special. It is not a conclusive fact however but it points to the fact that you can take a chance with him. I agree that there are some guys who tell girls things that they don’t mean but even those guys have to have some sort of interest in the girl in the first place which leads him to go out of his way to get her.  Generally speaking, if a guy tells you that he really likes you, you should take it seriously.

2.       He makes out time to be with you:

If he is busy and he always makes out time to call, visit, chat or send you gifts, you should know that he is very interested in you. The average guy is focused on his work, family, and friends but he will always give a special place to the woman in his life. His thoughts would be occupied by images of you and he would be very eager to see you at any chance he gets. It is a very important sign. Remember that this is not all men's reaction to people they feel very strongly about and so some men might not exhibit this character but if you see this sign then you can be sure he wants you.

3.       When He opens up about his flaws:

If you are not a bosom friend of a guy then he would never open up his secrets and vulnerabilities to you. If your man is comfortable telling you all his flaws and vulnerabilities and listens to you talk about yours as well, then he is really interested in you. Men are proud beings who are less likely to talk about their fears or failures because they have to show strength. A guy who is ready to be weak in your presence is completely open to a relationship with you.

4.       He talks about planning his future and puts you in his plans:

A man who constantly discusses his plans with you is definitely fond of you but if he gets to the point where he cannot see his future plans without you in them, you have yourself a keeper. There’s no point dating someone who does not have a place for you in his plans or cannot simply align his plans with yours.

5.       He begins to say “We” instead of “I”:

Have you ever asked a person a question and he replied for himself and his partner? It would sound something like this, “We couldn’t make it.” “We don’t like ice-cream.” We’re on a diet.” Ladies, if a guy begins to say these to others, you might as well just start dating him already because he is so interested in you that it has altered his speech. He is a potential Husband material – 100 yards.

6.       If his mother knows you by name:

Seriously, you must mean a whole lot for a guy to introduce you to his mother. If you speak to his mother for the first time and she says “Oh, you are the Jane that I’ve heard so much about…”, he is really taking you seriously. Men hold their mothers in very high esteem and they do not just talk about any random lady with their mothers. It doesn’t matter how old the man is, he will always tell his mother about that special person in his life. If she knows you then you're very special to him.

7.       He gets to know and relates with your family members:

Most guys stay away from the lady’s family if they are not really interested in her. It’s not just worth their time and extra accountability. So if a man decides to get to know your family on a first name basis and is constantly in communication with them even when you are not aware of it, he is absolutely interested in having a relationship with you. He is definitely willing to be accountable to your family about the status of your relationship at every point in time.

There are a lot of ways you can build this interest if it doesn’t exist already and there a lot of signs that are not covered in this article. If there are any ones in particular that you like and feel that they should be added to future articles, let us know in the comments section below. We would love to hear from you.

Written by

Ojie Femi 

Ladies, if you want to have a successful dating life, you should take note of things that your man shouldn’t hear.

1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? 

You’ll see him when you see him. If he wants to see you again, he’ll call. If not, next. You don’t have time for anyone that doesn’t have time for you.

2. WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL? 

There’s only one answer to this question: Because he didn’t want to!!! What you’re really asking is, “Why didn’t you want to call me?” Who knows!! There could be a lot of reasons, but you shouldn’t be sitting around wondering why. You should be out dating lots of different guys and not worrying about ONE guy. Don’t be so quick to put all your eggs into one basket, because if they break, it’s a big mess!

3. WHERE WERE YOU? 

If he wanted you to know where he was, he’d tell you. What you’re really asking is, “Where you with another female that you like better than me?” Your insecurity is showing, my dear. You need to show him that your time is also as important to you as his. Do something fun or simply take yourself out and stop bickering about things you have no control over.

4. I LOVE YOU (FIRST) 

I know that you are saying this with good intentions, but if he doesn’t respond what happens? You’ll be devastated and probably feel foolish. Saying “I love you” is not going to speed things up if he’s not ready to say it back. So just cool it, and let him be the first to say it when he’s ready.

5. DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER? 

He’s telling you about his exes and there you are feeling jealous and all. Hey Girl, Watch it! As long as he’s not sleeping with her now, who cares? The past is gone. Don’t torture yourself (and him) with these thoughts. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.

6. WHERE IS THIS GOING? 

Nowhere fast if that’s your attitude. Guys want someone fun and easy to be with, not someone that’s constantly worrying about the future. His actions or non-actions will tell you where it’s going. If it’s going somewhere, you’ll know it. If it’s not, you’ll know it too.

7. WE NEED TO TALK.

This is the equivalent of, “Mum is calling you (if you know, you know)”. Guys know it’s not going to be a fun conversation, so they’re already on the defensive. If you need to discuss something, just casually bring it up when the both of you are relaxed. Don’t try to discuss things when!

8. I HATE YOU!

Even if you do, it’s totally uncalled for and un-lady like. If there’s an issue, be mature enough to discuss it when you’re calm. Even if he is breaking up with you and you feel the urge to call him out on everything, it’s best to remain calm and act unfazed. He’ll wonder why you’re so cool about it and that may make him re-think his decision. Guys are always taken aback by calm ladies. We confuse them. Always be pleasant during a break up. Do you want to be known as the girl that goes psycho if someone breaks up with her? I didn’t think so.

9. I DON’T TRUST YOU.

 What you’re actually saying is, “You need to step up your game, because I can see you’re up to something.” If you have no evidence of this, it would be unwise to start throwing words around. First, it will make him more cautious if he is actually doing something which makes it even harder to get the evidence you need to prove your suspicions. Second and even more damaging is the fact that you could be wrong and hurt his feelings which would be no fault of his. He’s most likely see you as a crazy person.

It’s hard not to say some of these things but I promise you that it’s worth the effort. Overtime it will normalize and become a way of life.

 Ojay Tress

1. The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman:

This is the basic requirement for every individual who is or hopes to be in a relationship soon. First published in 1995 by Dr. Gary Chapman, this New York Times Bestseller teaches practical ways to keep your relationship’s engine running even when things get rocky or simply boring. This he argues, can be achieved by simply understanding your partner’s love language(s). With examples and profile assessments, it is sure to keep you in a constant and extensive stream of tests with your partner that would yield amazing results. The new edition has been revised to account for modern circumstances and problems relating to relationships in the 21st century.

2.  Modern Romance By Aziz Ansari with Eric Klinenberg

Dating styles in this modern era have evolved markedly from what they used to be decades ago. With the aid of technology, we are able to communicate, go on dates and end things as fast as we can type. Popular American comedian Aziz Ansari decided to team up with Sociologist Eric Klinenberg in order to study the effects of changes in technology on romance. With interviews conducted in various countries, we get a perfect blend of humor and scientific facts about the search for a soul mate.

3. Too Good To Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether To Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship - Mira Kirshenbaum

In this book, popular psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum (who also authored ‘I Love You, But I Don’t Trust You) gives a holistic explanation for situations that go on in rocky relationships and the remedies. She makes it a point to raise some questions that you should ask yourself in a bid to understand yourself better. She argues that with the 36 questions, you can learn so much about your relationship by learning largely about yourself. It is an amazing read that would help you challenge the status quo in your relationship.

4. I Love You But I Don’t Trust You - Mira Kirshenbaum

Do you have trust issues? Has someone broken your trust and you felt that it was impossible to recover? This book is another masterpiece that helps you begin to rebuild the trust in your relationship especially in the face of heartbreak. Mira takes you on a journey to explore the causes of these trust issues whether it is due to cheating, dishonesty or even a recurring issue from the past. She teaches you practical steps on how to restore the bond of trust between you and your partner regardless of how bad the relationship seems to be hit. Her experience as a couples therapist makes her an authority in this field and makes the book all the more useful in solving relationship problems relating to Trust.

5. He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys - Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

Dating men is not that complicated because men are simple beings. There are a lot of women who feel like guys are puzzling and their actions send mixed signals. New York Times best-selling author Greg Behrendt alongside Liz Tuccillo explain to us that guys are very easy to read. It is very easy to tell whether he is into you or not. The book which was based on an episode of ‘Sex and the City’ enlightens savvy women on this elusive topic, ‘How to tell if a guy is interested in dating you or not.’ It breaks the barrier of understanding and helps women to make wiser choices with their time and their emotions during and after dating.

6. Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work - Patrick Fanning and Matthew Mckay

Dating is easy. Building a relationship, on the other hand, is hard work. This book teaches you how to work smart instead of working hard. With timeless principles on how to improve communication with your partner, resolving disputes in innovative ways and building a strong and resilient coping mechanism. The updated version of the book has an additional chapter that teaches you to accept your partner’s feelings without criticism. It is sure to help you have a rounded view of your relationship.

7. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

We are all vulnerable to something in our lives. The myth that people create that says that there is a need to push your insecurities aside when in a relationship (especially if you’re a guy) is very misleading. Dr. Brene Brown talks about the need to live a life of honesty in our relationships. It’s okay to shown vulnerability from time to time and it is vitally important to a relationship. The truth about weakness is pointed out skillfully by the writer and is pointed out as a strength. This book encourages openness and is a must-read for people who have either an inferiority or superiority complex going into a relationship.

There you have it. This is by not a full list of all the books you can read but this is a very good start to build a long lasting relationship.

written by

Chrestomanci