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Weddings are some of the
most stressful events to plan in Nigeria especially when you are have limited
capital. It is one of the main reasons that people shy away from proposing to
their partners and can be extremely confusing for the people involved. The
assumption is that the bigger the wedding, the more memorable it will be but
that couldn’t be farther from the truth. A wedding is memorable because of the
two individuals getting married, every other thing is just an addition. For
those of you planning weddings, there are ways to get the most appropriate
wedding ceremony that would not run into millions of naira.
Attendance:
A budget wedding is not
a society wedding so you would have to cut down on your number of invited
guests. You must remember that the more guests you plan on having, the more the
event venue will cost. Create a list of all your family and friends, send
invites to them according to your list and let them know if they can bring a
plus one or not. We would advise not to have more than 50 people. The important
thing to note is that the list captures all the key members of your family and
close friends. You might be thinking, ‘What about the other people that want to
come?’ Well, you can also take advantage of technology and have someone stream
your wedding live via social media platforms for free.
Venue:
Now that you have
decided your audience, the next thing you want to talk about is the location of
your wedding. You can search for various event centers but remember to be
realistic. You venue housing 50 to 100 people should be about 150,000 to
200,000 naira on average and would cover power as well (Prices vary from state
to state). If you are in Lagos for example, this would not be the time to look
for venues in Lekki phase 1 or Ikoyi. You might want to get a venue in places
like Ogba or Surulere. Remember that it’s not about the destination but about
the people getting married. You could also relate with your network to find out
which be venues you can get for free or cheap. Please always have a backup plan
if you choose to go with this option.
Food:
In every Nigerian
wedding, the food is always a talking point and a prayer point for the couple.
People might forget everything but they don’t usually forget about the food.
The important thing to note is that you do not have to spend too much money on
food because you have cut down on the number of invited guests. With 300
thousand naira you can have the food completely covered. Please make sure your
food is served by a caterer with no interest(s) in the wedding and ensure that
your event planner has a preset order for food sharing based on the list of
guests. Remember, you are not obligated to give more than one meal at your
wedding so keep it simple.
MC:
There’s always that one
friend that can be your Compere for the wedding. If you absolutely have to pay
him, 50 thousand should do.
Music
Get a DJ. You don’t need
a live band. 50,000 to 100,000 naira should work.
Cake:
Please keep this
professional. You don’t want a cake that looks like a wrap of pounded yam or
tastes like kerosene. Get in touch with professional cake makers with a proven
history of success. Investing 50 to 75 thousand on the cake would ensure that
you get a very good cake with adequate steps. It also means you can rest
assured that the bakers will use the standard equipment.
Clothes:
There seems to be a new
trend of couples changing multiple times during a wedding. First, that should
not be a concern of yours because you can do with the same pair of clothes for
the duration of the wedding. Who says you have to choose an outlandish color
for your bridal train or groomsmen. Simple colors like black, blue, red and
pink are easy to purchase and might already be available. Asoebi isn’t necessary
and shouldn’t be made compulsory.
Decorations:
This is one of the areas
that would need a professional touch. Pay a decoration company or professional
to handle this and do not leave this to chance. The look and feel of the venue
will be a source of soothing relief and could make the wedding look grander
than it actually is. For the size of the venue, we prices would vary from state
to state but we place the average price range of a good interior designer at 80,000
naira.
Security:
This is another section
of the event that you would want to leave to the professionals. Get an actual
agency or company to handle this for your wedding because they would have no
stake in the wedding and as such would follow your guest list strictly. The
fees paid to these companies are dependent on the number of personnel needed
and the number of hours.
Transportation:
Make sure you use about
1 or 2 clean cars. The ribbon decoration around the car works every time.
Time:
Keep your event short
and simple. Let the joining and the reception take place at the same venue. The
joining should be done in 45 minutes or less and the reception should take
about 3 – 4 hours. This way you can get all the benefits of having a complete
wedding without overstretching time and resources.
Network:
Everyone is usually one
person away from a solved problem. Make sure you network with friends,
colleagues and family, you never know who could offer the services for free or
a fraction of the price you were asked to pay. Don’t be scared to ask for help
but make sure you have a backup plan for any free service you are supposed to
get. One thing you must note is that if the service to be rendered is going to
be below par, it is not worth it even if it is offered for free
With these steps, you
are well on your way to organizing a beautiful and memorable wedding without
even spending up to a million naira. There no need to break the bank or wait
indefinitely because with the resources at your disposal you can get amazing
results.
The total amount by my
estimates is 805,000 naira. So with a little under a million naira you can plan
your entire wedding without having sleepless nights and then you can focus on
building a future with your spouse.
admin
These days, people are continually being bombarded with different forms of pressure when it comes to conversations with their partners. You have to think of the most appropriate thing to say in every situation so that you don’t ‘fall your hand.’ This means that we usually avoid the serious (and usually uncomfortable) discussions until after the wedding night and these usually have devastating consequences. We end up getting to see a side of our partner that we did not see earlier and it leaves people frustrated and could potentially break up the marriage. Here are some very important questions or conversations that would help you avoid this occurrence.
1. How much do you earn?
Please, please and please, do not ever skip this question because of the potential discomfort that comes with asking your partner about their finances. It doesn’t really matter whether you are a man or a woman. There is nothing more annoying than finding out that the person you have proposed to or are already married to does not earn an amount that would be considered helpful to the family. This obviously extends to a question about your partner’s place of work. Remember that this doesn’t make you a gold digger or tramp, it just means that both of you are planning your finances. Some guys would find this particularly hard to do owing to the thought that a man should be the sole provider for the family but times are changing and it would be beneficial for both parties to know each other’s financial obligation.
2. What are your oddest physical behaviors?
This is not as much a question as it is a conversation to be had multiple times. People have very strange sets of physical and mental behaviors that would leave you stunned or even annoyed. Imagine living with a guy that pees on the bed at night. If you didn’t know about this beforehand, it would be a completely weird and annoying discovery. If you knew this already, it would be easier to understand and control. There are ladies that snore and are extremely embarrassed about it. The guy she wants to marry might be one who could never survive with a woman that snores loudly and so he would be extremely uncomfortable and keep complaining. Complaints, no matter how small, lead to dissention and ultimately arguments. Remember that these are examples of everyday situations and do not need to lead to breakups. You should also check for sexually relation challenges by going to see a doctor together.
3. Blood Groups and Genotypes
This is probably the most important question or discussion that must be addressed before any plans are made for wedding. There are a lot of people who found out about their spouses genotype when they had already gotten married and it led to all sorts of complications. If you are AA, you can marry from across the spectrum but if you are AS or SS you should be very careful about these decisions. It is medically advised that anyone with the AS or SS genotype should marry someone with the AA genotype because this makes it statistically impossible for you to have a baby that has sickle cell anemia. It’s a decision for the future of the children. Blood groups are also very important because we need to be sure that in cases of emergencies that might require blood transfusion, we are compatible with our partners. Make sure this question is place at the top of your awkward conversation bucket list.
4. How many children and how soon?
In Nigeria, we know that there are personal and societal expectations for having children. If your lady partner is a career woman who wants to give a few years before childbirth, you should be able to know what that entails and how that would play out. Ladies, if your partner wants to have 5 or 6 children and you want 3 children, it could be a sticky topic later on. These conversations would help you manage your expectations and your extended family’s expectations as well.
5. What are your plans for the future?
Well this cannot be over emphasized. It is probably the most important item on this list and should be the main topic of discussion for days, weeks or months leading to the bold step. You need someone who complements your vision or at the very least gets the idea and is ready to support you. If your dream as a woman for example is to run a billion dollar corporation, you must make sure your partner is willing to handle a wife that always travels. It’s not an easy conversation and some concessions might need to be reached but never bend over backwards because you are desperate to get married.
6. What are the things that you can’t stand?
People have their unique reactions to behaviors of others. The person you’re dating has his/her sensitivities and you have to try to know as much as you can. Do not take this process for granted because a simple dirty room could be the cause of a break up. The conversation exposes secrets that both of you might not have shared before and it is very necessary to build that level of trust and tolerance before getting engaged.
I hope that you noticed that I didn’t mention who should ask for the others hand in marriage. It’s completely irrelevant, especially in the 21stcentury and I’ll address it in another article. These 6 questions are sure to get you on the right track and spark more interesting and productive conversations that would hopefully cement your bond.
Just remember, if you don’t like what you hear, you might never like it. Do not succumb to the urge to get off the singles market by compromising your standards. You’re worth more than that.
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