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Ladies, guys are not that hard to read. They only pretend to be mysterious when they are having second thoughts about dating you. Here are the signs that would show you that he is interested in having a relationship with you. This article does not in any way tell you that your relationship will be successful but it will just focus on how to know if you should take the step in the first place.
1.
He tells you:
This one is pretty straight forward and is what most ladies
want to happen. If he is bold enough to tell you that he wants to have a
relationship with you or simply that he is interested in taking you out, you
have something special. It is not a conclusive fact however but it points to
the fact that you can take a chance with him. I agree that there are some guys
who tell girls things that they don’t mean but even those guys have to have
some sort of interest in the girl in the first place which leads him to go out
of his way to get her. Generally speaking,
if a guy tells you that he really likes you, you should take it seriously.
2.
He makes out time to be with you:
If he is busy and he always makes out time to call, visit,
chat or send you gifts, you should know that he is very interested in you. The
average guy is focused on his work, family, and friends but he will always give
a special place to the woman in his life. His thoughts would be occupied by
images of you and he would be very eager to see you at any chance he gets. It
is a very important sign. Remember that this is not all men's reaction to
people they feel very strongly about and so some men might not exhibit this
character but if you see this sign then you can be sure he wants you.
3.
When He opens up about his flaws:
If you are not a bosom friend of a guy then he would never
open up his secrets and vulnerabilities to you. If your man is comfortable
telling you all his flaws and vulnerabilities and listens to you talk about
yours as well, then he is really interested in you. Men are proud beings who
are less likely to talk about their fears or failures because they have to show
strength. A guy who is ready to be weak in your presence is completely open to
a relationship with you.
4.
He talks about planning his future and puts you
in his plans:
A man who constantly discusses his plans with you is
definitely fond of you but if he gets to the point where he cannot see his
future plans without you in them, you have yourself a keeper. There’s no point
dating someone who does not have a place for you in his plans or cannot simply
align his plans with yours.
5.
He begins to say “We” instead of “I”:
Have you ever asked a person a question and he replied for
himself and his partner? It would sound something like this, “We couldn’t make
it.” “We don’t like ice-cream.” We’re on a diet.” Ladies, if a guy begins to
say these to others, you might as well just start dating him already because he
is so interested in you that it has altered his speech. He is a potential
Husband material – 100 yards.
6.
If his mother knows you by name:
Seriously, you must mean a whole lot for a guy to introduce
you to his mother. If you speak to his mother for the first time and she says
“Oh, you are the Jane that I’ve heard so much about…”, he is really taking you
seriously. Men hold their mothers in very high esteem and they do not just talk
about any random lady with their mothers. It doesn’t matter how old the man is,
he will always tell his mother about that special person in his life. If she
knows you then you're very special to him.
7.
He gets to know and relates with your family
members:
Most guys stay away from the lady’s family if they are not
really interested in her. It’s not just worth their time and extra
accountability. So if a man decides to get to know your family on a first name
basis and is constantly in communication with them even when you are not aware
of it, he is absolutely interested in having a relationship with you. He is
definitely willing to be accountable to your family about the status of your
relationship at every point in time.
There are a lot of ways you can build this interest if it
doesn’t exist already and there a lot of signs that are not covered in this
article. If there are any ones in particular that you like and feel that they
should be added to future articles, let us know in the comments section below.
We would love to hear from you.
Ojie Femi
Passion
Thinking about you for the tenth time today
Reminiscing the feel of your hand
When it touches mine
Creating a whirlwind of breathlessness
The breath lost is mine
Thinking about the cadence of your voice
As it rises and falls with every question,
Every whisper that touches these ear of mine
I feel all sorts of emotions
My brain thinks about you all night
Thinking about the first time you told me you loved me
The playful seriousness in your eyes
That moment that left me mesmerized
And I knew you meant it
I knew with all my heart
Thinking about the time you hurt me
With that other girl
You stunned me
I was left speechless and surprised
That those hands that held me could hold another
That those lips that kissed me could kiss another
That those words you told me could be told to another
I told myself why even bother
I could just as easily find another
But here I am
Thinking about you for the tenth time today
Maybe this is my fate
Why even bother
Maybe I'm supposed to love you while you love another
Written by
Ojie Femi
These days, people are continually being bombarded with different forms of pressure when it comes to conversations with their partners. You have to think of the most appropriate thing to say in every situation so that you don’t ‘fall your hand.’ This means that we usually avoid the serious (and usually uncomfortable) discussions until after the wedding night and these usually have devastating consequences. We end up getting to see a side of our partner that we did not see earlier and it leaves people frustrated and could potentially break up the marriage. Here are some very important questions or conversations that would help you avoid this occurrence.
1. How much do you earn?
Please, please and please, do not ever skip this question because of the potential discomfort that comes with asking your partner about their finances. It doesn’t really matter whether you are a man or a woman. There is nothing more annoying than finding out that the person you have proposed to or are already married to does not earn an amount that would be considered helpful to the family. This obviously extends to a question about your partner’s place of work. Remember that this doesn’t make you a gold digger or tramp, it just means that both of you are planning your finances. Some guys would find this particularly hard to do owing to the thought that a man should be the sole provider for the family but times are changing and it would be beneficial for both parties to know each other’s financial obligation.
2. What are your oddest physical behaviors?
This is not as much a question as it is a conversation to be had multiple times. People have very strange sets of physical and mental behaviors that would leave you stunned or even annoyed. Imagine living with a guy that pees on the bed at night. If you didn’t know about this beforehand, it would be a completely weird and annoying discovery. If you knew this already, it would be easier to understand and control. There are ladies that snore and are extremely embarrassed about it. The guy she wants to marry might be one who could never survive with a woman that snores loudly and so he would be extremely uncomfortable and keep complaining. Complaints, no matter how small, lead to dissention and ultimately arguments. Remember that these are examples of everyday situations and do not need to lead to breakups. You should also check for sexually relation challenges by going to see a doctor together.
3. Blood Groups and Genotypes
This is probably the most important question or discussion that must be addressed before any plans are made for wedding. There are a lot of people who found out about their spouses genotype when they had already gotten married and it led to all sorts of complications. If you are AA, you can marry from across the spectrum but if you are AS or SS you should be very careful about these decisions. It is medically advised that anyone with the AS or SS genotype should marry someone with the AA genotype because this makes it statistically impossible for you to have a baby that has sickle cell anemia. It’s a decision for the future of the children. Blood groups are also very important because we need to be sure that in cases of emergencies that might require blood transfusion, we are compatible with our partners. Make sure this question is place at the top of your awkward conversation bucket list.
4. How many children and how soon?
In Nigeria, we know that there are personal and societal expectations for having children. If your lady partner is a career woman who wants to give a few years before childbirth, you should be able to know what that entails and how that would play out. Ladies, if your partner wants to have 5 or 6 children and you want 3 children, it could be a sticky topic later on. These conversations would help you manage your expectations and your extended family’s expectations as well.
5. What are your plans for the future?
Well this cannot be over emphasized. It is probably the most important item on this list and should be the main topic of discussion for days, weeks or months leading to the bold step. You need someone who complements your vision or at the very least gets the idea and is ready to support you. If your dream as a woman for example is to run a billion dollar corporation, you must make sure your partner is willing to handle a wife that always travels. It’s not an easy conversation and some concessions might need to be reached but never bend over backwards because you are desperate to get married.
6. What are the things that you can’t stand?
People have their unique reactions to behaviors of others. The person you’re dating has his/her sensitivities and you have to try to know as much as you can. Do not take this process for granted because a simple dirty room could be the cause of a break up. The conversation exposes secrets that both of you might not have shared before and it is very necessary to build that level of trust and tolerance before getting engaged.
I hope that you noticed that I didn’t mention who should ask for the others hand in marriage. It’s completely irrelevant, especially in the 21stcentury and I’ll address it in another article. These 6 questions are sure to get you on the right track and spark more interesting and productive conversations that would hopefully cement your bond.
Just remember, if you don’t like what you hear, you might never like it. Do not succumb to the urge to get off the singles market by compromising your standards. You’re worth more than that.
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