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MatchMadeInNaija admin

 


It is very easy to take things for granted in your relationship. The fact that we are all very busy makes us susceptible to assumptions that our partners would understand when we are not able to show love. 


Logically, we all know that a relationship must receive attention if it is to grow. Realistically, few of us take the time to fan the relationship flames as often as we should. But help is on the way. 


Showing your special someone how much you love them doesn't have to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. In fact, it's better if it doesn't -- it's the little things that we remember most. So don't wait until next Valentine's Day to show your significant other that you love and appreciate them. Try to incorporate at least one of these romantic ideas into your partner's day, every day (and when you've done them all, keep going by creating your own, or repeat the cycle!) 



1. Cook them their favorite meal. Have it ready to go when they walk in the door, complete with candles. 

2. Try your hand at a love poem that includes special memories only the two of you share. Leave it somewhere unexpected. 


3. Leave a note for your special other (or tuck one into a lunch/briefcase) telling them how much you care.



4. Create a playlist of your partner’s favorite songs. Have it playing when they come home. 



5. If married, have your wedding vows framed and give it to your spouse "just because." 



6. On a cold day, warm them up with a cup of tea or coffee. Bring them a blanket or sweater if they look cold.



7. On weekends, Volunteer to do some of their housework so they can relax. 

 

8. Let them sleep while you serenade them with soft music.


9. Give your partner a massage before they ask for it. 



10. Bring them lunch at work. Take out time from work to bring them lunch personally. Don’t send the delivery man.


11. Stop to say hello, kiss and hug every time you come in the front door. 



12. Pack a lunch and take your special someone on a surprise picnic or to the beach.  

13. Flirt with them. Dirty talk from time to time never hurt anyone.


14. Hold his or her hand. 



15. Tell them you love and appreciate them, don't just assume they know. 



16. Create your own holiday, then surprise your significant other with a celebration. This could be:       "Happy 8th day since your last trip," or "I Love You More Than Ever Day." 



17. Leave a flower and a note on the windshield of their car. 




18. Buy them a small, but meaningful, gift such as their favorite ice cream cone, an audiobook for them to listen to while in in traffic, etc. 


Make sure you add unique activities connected with your location and make memories with your partner.


 


MatchMadeInNaija admin



Passion

Thinking about you for the tenth time today

Reminiscing the feel of your hand

When it touches mine 

Creating a whirlwind of breathlessness

The breath lost is mine

Thinking about the cadence of your voice

As it rises and falls with every question,

Every whisper that touches these ear of mine

I feel all sorts of emotions

My brain thinks about you all night

Thinking about the first time you told me you loved me

The playful seriousness in your eyes

That moment that left me mesmerized

And I knew you meant it 

I knew with all my heart

Thinking about the time you hurt me

With that other girl

You stunned me

I was left speechless and surprised

That those hands that held me could hold another

That those lips that kissed me could kiss another 

That those words you told me could be told to another

I told myself why even bother

I could just as easily find another

But here I am

Thinking about you for the tenth time today

Maybe this is my fate

Why even bother 

Maybe I'm supposed to love you while you love another


Written by


Ojie Femi



MatchMadeInNaija admin



These days, people are continually being bombarded with different forms of pressure when it comes to conversations with their partners. You have to think of the most appropriate thing to say in every situation so that you don’t ‘fall your hand.’ This means that we usually avoid the serious (and usually uncomfortable) discussions until after the wedding night and these usually have devastating consequences. We end up getting to see a side of our partner that we did not see earlier and it leaves people frustrated and could potentially break up the marriage. Here are some very important questions or conversations that would help you avoid this occurrence.


1.      How much do you earn?


Please, please and please, do not ever skip this question because of the potential discomfort that comes with asking your partner about their finances. It doesn’t really matter whether you are a man or a woman. There is nothing more annoying than finding out that the person you have proposed to or are already married to does not earn an amount that would be considered helpful to the family. This obviously extends to a question about your partner’s place of work. Remember that this doesn’t make you a gold digger or tramp, it just means that both of you are planning your finances. Some guys would find this particularly hard to do owing to the thought that a man should be the sole provider for the family but times are changing and it would be beneficial for both parties to know each other’s financial obligation.


2.      What are your oddest physical behaviors?


This is not as much a question as it is a conversation to be had multiple times. People have very strange sets of physical and mental behaviors that would leave you stunned or even annoyed. Imagine living with a guy that pees on the bed at night. If you didn’t know about this beforehand, it would be a completely weird and annoying discovery. If you knew this already, it would be easier to understand and control. There are ladies that snore and are extremely embarrassed about it. The guy she wants to marry might be one who could never survive with a woman that snores loudly and so he would be extremely uncomfortable and keep complaining. Complaints, no matter how small, lead to dissention and ultimately arguments. Remember that these are examples of everyday situations and do not need to lead to breakups.  You should also check for sexually relation challenges by going to see a doctor together.


3.      Blood Groups and Genotypes


This is probably the most important question or discussion that must be addressed before any plans are made for wedding. There are a lot of people who found out about their spouses genotype when they had already gotten married and it led to all sorts of complications. If you are AA, you can marry from across the spectrum but if you are AS or SS you should be very careful about these decisions. It is medically advised that anyone with the AS or SS genotype should marry someone with the AA genotype because this makes it statistically impossible for you to have a baby that has sickle cell anemia. It’s a decision for the future of the children. Blood groups are also very important because we need to be sure that in cases of emergencies that might require blood transfusion, we are compatible with our partners. Make sure this question is place at the top of your awkward conversation bucket list.




4.      How many children and how soon?


In Nigeria, we know that there are personal and societal expectations for having children. If your lady partner is a career woman who wants to give a few years before childbirth, you should be able to know what that entails and how that would play out. Ladies, if your partner wants to have 5 or 6 children and you want 3 children, it could be a sticky topic later on. These conversations would help you manage your expectations and your extended family’s expectations as well.


5.      What are your plans for the future?


Well this cannot be over emphasized. It is probably the most important item on this list and should be the main topic of discussion for days, weeks or months leading to the bold step.  You need someone who complements your vision or at the very least gets the idea and is ready to support you. If your dream as a woman for example is to run a billion dollar corporation, you must make sure your partner is willing to handle a wife that always travels. It’s not an easy conversation and some concessions might need to be reached but never bend over backwards because you are desperate to get married.

6.        What are the things that you can’t stand?


People have their unique reactions to behaviors of others. The person you’re dating has his/her sensitivities and you have to try to know as much as you can. Do not take this process for granted because a simple dirty room could be the cause of a break up. The conversation exposes secrets that both of you might not have shared before and it is very necessary to build that level of trust and tolerance before getting engaged.


I hope that you noticed that I didn’t mention who should ask for the others hand in marriage. It’s completely irrelevant, especially in the 21stcentury and I’ll address it in another article. These 6 questions are sure to get you on the right track and spark more interesting and productive conversations that would hopefully cement your bond.


Just remember, if you don’t like what you hear, you might never like it. Do not succumb to the urge to get off the singles market by compromising your standards. You’re worth more than that.


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