How to Handle Rejection from MatchMadeInNaija's blog

Ever heard of shock absorbers? They are parts of cars very close to the tires and connected to the main body (chassis) of the car. Their job is to cushion the effect of sudden shocks and shifts that can be caused by bumps on the road. Simply put, they are the reasons why you don’t feel too uncomfortable when a car gets into bad roads. The makers of car put these shock absorbers because they know that there will always be issues on the road. In the same way we have to build internal ‘shock absorbers’ so that we can cushion the effect that rejection has on our minds.

Everybody gets rejected at one point or the other, directly or indirectly. You might like a person and then pour out your heart to them, only to hear them say that you are just a friend to them and that they are in love with someone else. This could be devastating especially if you are a shy person who just summoned up courage to tell the person how you feel. The feeling might lead to thoughts that you are not good enough or that you are less attractive than others.

First, you need to understand yourself completely and love yourself the way you are. You are special and the most important person in your world. Never make someone else more important than you in your own thoughts, because if that person breaks your heart you could feel like less of a human. Take up a positive mindset and choose to love yourself every day. Positive thoughts will always give you a cushion even when someone says that you are not good enough for them. You are a powerful being that is capable of taking any kind of situation in your stride and coming out on top.

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. This is a statement that helps you keep yourself grounded and makes you think realistically. Before you go to ask someone out, you must open your mind to the possibility that they could say no. It doesn’t mean that you are being negative; it just means that you’re prepared. You could even prepare the statement that you would utter if they reject your advances. That way you are not tongue-tied and embarrassed when the hammer drops.

Remember that there are over 7 billion people on earth. Just because the person you thought you liked said no doesn’t mean that he or she is the only person you would ever feel something for in your life. There are so many people and one of them will be a perfect match for you. You just have to move on and trust that the universe will bring someone your way. That someone might not be in your current circle and you must be open to that possibility.

Be patient. A person could reject you today and come running to you tomorrow. You never can tell what’s beyond the curve of what you currently see. I’m sure that there are people you are friends with today that you never thought that you would be friends with in your lifetime. That’s the nature of things and will continue to be the nature of things for a long time to come. Don’t rush into any ‘rebound’ relationship because someone rejected you. It could have unwanted consequences later on. You could get into a commitment that you made in a time of desperation and cannot back out of later for fear of hurting the person involved.  

Try to avoid constant loneliness.  Get together with friends and hangout. Go out for get-togethers, birthdays, events, and the likes. This is not the time to keep to yourself and think continuously about the rejection. You need to be in a gathering of people who that you are important to them and would like to make you feel happy. You never know who you would meet at these events and how things could turn out. Don’t close yourself off to the world because of anyone. No one is worth the effort or lack thereof.

Remember that you are too important to the world to keep your heart hidden. No matter what situation you are in, love will find you. You just have to keep an open mind and be ready to go through the bumpy roads just like the ‘shock absorber’.


Ojie Femi

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